e-LEPHANTS FOOT UMBRELLA STAND

Ernest Hemingway would have had one of these for certain, if he'd been wimpy enough ever to use an umbrella. After all, once you've been a Big Man and shot the elephant, you may as well use all the bits. Goes well with Tiger-skin Rugs, Stuffed Dodos and Ivory Letter-openers.

e-JECTOR SEAT SYSTEMS

Airbags are for pansies. For the ultimate in impact survival systems, perhaps you should consider installing an ejector seat into your family vehicle.

e-GGS

Full of protein and so versatile. Ideal for a quick and nourishing meal. Why not buy a dozen today? One of nature's wholesome wonder foods.

e-LECTRON MICROSCOPE

Whether you're a home hobbyist with an interest in molecular physics or a serious geneticist, the electron microscope is just perfect for getting up close and personal with the world of the very very small.

e-LECTRONIC DIGITAL COMPUTER

You heard it here, folks. These things are going to be big. Really big. One day, every home will have a room like this one, dedicated to processing hundreds of mathematical equations per hour. It may sound far-fetched, but it's already a scientific reality.

e-CTOPLASM

Difficult to obtain, we have a small supply of this substance collected by attending accidents and natural disaster scenes, hunting for the recently deceased and fatally injured. Limited stocks.

e-LECTRIC SOCKS

How have you lived without them for so long? So warm and toasty. Pass me the bonbons, sonny.

Warning: Not to be used in conjunction with foot-spas, or by persons prone to excessive sweating.

e-NDOSCOPE

When you want to see just what's going on in there but aren't quite ready to dissect, this is the tool for you. An essential addition to the kit of any Do-It-Yourself home surgeon.

Show us your wallet, buddy.